Judges Say the Craziest Things (And Why They Can’t Order You to Fix Your Life)

By: John Guidry

There used to be a show called Kids Say the Craziest Things, but there could also be one for judges (and attorneys, for that matter).

When I first started defending criminal cases here in Orlando back in 1993, the judge my public defender assigned me to once said to a Hispanic client accused of Battery: “You won’t stop beating your wife, you’re Mexican!” Oops. Yes, the Judicial Qualifications Commission (JQC) did find out about such things, and let’s just say that person is no longer a judge. (Those who know their Orange County history know exactly who I’m talking about).

Anyway, we could hash around war stories all night, but that’s what bar meetings are for. Today, let’s analyze probation conditions that a judge should not impose—even if they seem like a good idea at the time.

Ordered to do something on probation that has nothing to do with your crime?

The judge might be overstepping. Call John today at (407) 423-1117.

The Case: Spano v. State (The No-Contact Order)

Today’s case is Spano v. State, 60 So. 3d 1108 (Fla. 4th DCA 2011).

• The Charge: Spano pled guilty to Practicing Law Without a License.
• The Sentence: She was sentenced to Community Control (House Arrest).
• The Condition: The judge ordered her to have No Contact with her daughter.
• The Violation: Eventually, Spano violated her probation by contacting her daughter.

Why This Was Illegal: The appeals court, thankfully, overturned this special condition. They ruled that the trial court abused its discretion.

• The Rule: A probation condition must be reasonably related to the crime or to the defendant’s rehabilitation.
• The Application: What does talking to her daughter have to do with practicing law without a license? Nothing. The judge was trying to fix a difficult family relationship rather than fix the criminality.

The Case: Carter v. State (The AA Meetings)

The urge to “fix the human being” often leads judges astray. In Carter v. State, 677 So. 2d 1349 (Fla. 4th DCA 1996), the defendant was convicted of Grand Theft.

• The Condition: The judge ordered the defendant to attend Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meetings.
• The Problem: There was no evidence that the theft was related to alcohol use.
• The Ruling: The court struck down the condition. You cannot force a thief to go to AA just because you think it’s a good program. Unless the theft was to buy booze or committed while drunk, there is no “nexus” (connection).

John’s 2026 Update: The New “Tailored Conditions” Law

Note: In 2026, the law has evolved to try to stop “cookie-cutter” probation.

1. The “Nexus” Rule is Stronger Than Ever The rule from Spano and Carter is still the law: The punishment must fit the crime.

• If you are arrested for Driving While License Suspended, the judge generally cannot order you to take a Drug Test. (Unless there were drugs in the car).
• If you are arrested for Trespass, the judge cannot order Anger Management unless you were violent during the arrest.

2. Senate Bill 878 (The “Smart Probation” Act) Recently, Florida passed legislation encouraging “individualized” probation plans.

• The Good News: This stops judges from checking every box on the form (Drug Court, AA, Anger Management, Curfew) for every single defendant.
• The Strategy: We use this law to argue that “standard” conditions don’t apply to you. If you don’t have a drug problem, we object to random urinalysis. If you work at night, we object to the standard curfew.

3. Mental Health Courts While judges can’t force unrelated conditions, if you opt into a “Mental Health Court” or “Veterans Court” program, you are voluntarily agreeing to extra conditions (like counseling) in exchange for getting your charges dropped. In those voluntary programs, Spano doesn’t apply because you signed up for it.

Don’t Let Them Micromanage Your Life

If your probation officer or judge is trying to force you to do classes, counseling, or restrictions that have nothing to do with your case, we can file a Motion to Modify Probation.

Call me at (407) 423-1117. Let’s strike those conditions.

About John Guidry II

John Guidry II is a seasoned criminal defense attorney and founder of the Law Firm of John P. Guidry II, P.A., located in downtown Orlando next to the Orange County Courthouse, where he has practiced for over 30 years. With more than three decades of experience defending clients throughout Central Florida since 1993, Guidry has successfully defended thousands of cases in Orange, Seminole, Osceola, Brevard, Lake, and Volusia counties. He has built a reputation for his strategic approach to criminal defense, focusing on pretrial motions and case dismissals rather than jury trials.

Guidry earned both his Juris Doctorate and Master of Business Administration from St. Louis University in 1993. He is a member of the Florida Bar and the Florida Association of Criminal Defense Lawyers. His practice encompasses the full spectrum of Florida state criminal charges, with a particular emphasis on achieving favorable outcomes through thorough pretrial preparation and motion practice.

Beyond the courtroom, Guidry is a prolific legal educator who has authored over 400 articles on criminal defense topics. He shares his legal expertise through his popular YouTube channel, Instagram, and TikTok accounts, where he has built a substantial following of people eager to learn about the law. His educational content breaks down complex legal concepts into accessible information for the general public.

When not practicing law, Guidry enjoys tennis and pickleball, and loves to travel. Drawing from his background as a former recording studio owner and music video producer in the Orlando area, he brings a creative perspective to his legal practice and continues to apply his passion for video production to his educational content.